![]() This can especially be the case, Weber says, if the breakup was unexpected, such as the discovery of infidelity, or the other person ended the relationship without much explanation. It can be a confusing and hurtful experience, she notes. They are often looking for help to move through a painful period that is full of difficult emotions and unresolved feelings about the relationship and its end. … Each client will cope in a different way, and my desire is to walk alongside the client as if I’ve never heard this pain before.” Wondering whyĬlients sometimes come to counseling after a relationship ends to seek closure, says Kelly Weber, a licensed professional counselor (LPC) who sees individual clients at her private practice in Phoenix, Arizona. “I try and listen to their stories and pull out threads to bring into sessions and gently process together. ![]() Others are unhappy with being single or are looking to figure out why it keeps happening and they jump from relationship to relationship,” Rizk says. “Depending on how vulnerable and open the client is, some of them are coming to counseling to figure out the why. She often needs to gently explain to clients that they may never know what caused a breakup. It’s important for clients to talk through the breakup - when they are ready - so they don’t get “stuck” in feeling angry and relying on unhealthy coping mechanisms, she says.Īs clients share, Rizk says she tries to stay as neutral as possible and reassures the client that they will not feel the sadness, anger or any other feelings they are experiencing forever. This includes prompting them to share how they met their ex, what drew them together and other details of the relationship, including its end. Counseling is about talking about pain without judgment - even if they need to talk about something over and over.”Īlthough post-relationship heartbreak is not uncommon, Rizk aims to treat each client who seeks counseling after a breakup as if they are going through a new and unique experience. “Having an opportunity for the client to speak completely unfiltered is my main goal. “Clients may not feel they have the opportunity to get it all out to friends and family without judgment,” she explains. There is healing in being truly and completely heard, she notes. Rizk, a member of the American Counseling Association whose practice focuses on helping clients with relationship issues, recommends counselors start by offering empathic listening, which, she says, these clients need first and foremost. In short, there can be a lot to unpack in counseling. ![]() These multifaceted feelings of loss can intertwine with anger, disappointment, vulnerability, regret, shame, betrayal, self-doubt, lo neliness or even relief. This second phase may bring painful feelings about unmet expectations and the absence of a future with their partner - either one they imagined or one they discussed and planned as a couple. ![]() A person may acutely feel the loss of activities that brought them comfort and connection such as phone calls and texts from their partner, watching their favorite TV shows together or their usual morning coffee time.Īs the breakup begins to sink in, the person may feel loss over what could have been, Rizk continues. Romantic breakups can be a painful process that often involves feelings of loss on many levels.Īccording to Jessica Rizk, a licensed professional counselor and supervisor who owns a private practice in Northern Virginia, initial feelings of loss after a breakup can occur in two phases, the first of which is the loss of routine. ![]()
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